Happy Change-of-Yoke Day

Sando, you Scallywag! Pt.3


Sando, you scallywag! If you’re such a pistol, why aren’t you running the country instead, huh? Clowns like you wouldn’t understand our sacrifices for Naya Pakistan! Amil Baba Alvi, Takht Islamabad.
Weekly Chokus Bureau Chief: Sando Sapanwalla


YOU'RE right. I can’t run the country even if someone paid me a million bucks.


I wouldn’t sleep a wink knowing the office I occupy oppressed millions of my fellow men.


I couldn’t hold down a morsel knowing millions more cannot scrounge three square meals a day.


I couldn’t strut to a stump on August 14 and before the national flag preach false positives and pump my fist to DOA platitudes.


I’m far too weak and God-fearing a man. If ordered to run Pakistan in its present contortion, I’d ingest rat poison instead.


The real shame is you won’t.


I don’t deny your sacrifices, but…


For the twenty-two years you nitwits strove to clasp the reins of power, you shouted “change” from the rooftops while piggybacking on those you swore to eject: sacrifice #1?


And when the sacred cows “selected” you, you proved rudderless and beholden to the very crooks who savaged this country: sacrifice #2?


There’s no glory there, honorable Amil Baba, only bitter irony and yet another depressing history lesson.


You barged in through the backdoor like the Sharifs, sold pipe dreams to the peasantry like the Bhuttos, and blame-monger as them and often better.


How I wish time were a truthful barometer of ability so seven decades after independence, you card-carrying dingbats wouldn’t sprint round the same hamster wheel of insane mistakes and insaner excuses.


Hell, had Allama Iqbal foreseen 21st century Pakistan, he would’ve torched every patriotic stanza that poured forth from his pen and begged the Brits to stay forever.


Given your clueless brown sahib ways, I bet deep down you would too.


Happy change-of-yoke day.


Your face-palming compatriot,








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